14 days.

It hits me certain days more than others that in 14 short days I will be saying goodbye to my home in Dundas, and in 24 days I will be in an entirely new country. Those numbers just can't seem to compute in my head right now!

Its such a strange feeling packing up your life into a suitcase. The only physical symbol of my departure lies on my floor, screaming "this is really happening!!" even though my mind refuses acknowledge that as a reality.  

And let me just say, I am such a newbie at packing too. I don't know what way to fold clothes so that they maximize space, and I dont know how much "western" clothes to pack (will I even wear jeans??). I'm trying fit in as much comfort items as I can (letters, my favorite smelling lotion, a years supply of my favorite tea...) even though the perimeter of my suitcase is telling me otherwise. I guess this is only the begining of my crazy learning curve this year.

As much as I dread the final goodbyes with people that I love, I have to remember the reasons why I choose and then re-chose back in April to complete this year of service.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, these past few months have been extremely hard, but they have allowed me the opportunity to grow in ways that I normally wouldn't have before. Im learning about myself again, and I am excited about the idea of having a year dedicated learning and growing through service, community, and relationship building in a new setting. In the midst of saying goodbye, I sometimes forget the amazing opportunity I get to say hello to.

I have to remember that as scared as I am for this new step, going back to school or staying at home next year is just not an option for me right now. More than ever I am so hungry for change, discovery,  new people and having the time for writing, creating art or self reflection. Sitting in class or writing papers all year would feel like I am moving backwards, and my heart would not be in it. I am so thankful that this opportunity has come at such a time when I am ready to fully give myself over and hopefully learn some things in return.

But even with all of that, goodbyes still suck big time. If there is one thing I need prayer for right now, its for some strength as I say goodbye to my incredible family and friends. Oh man that's going to be hard!